Nicole’s Weight Loss and Skin Removal Journey

The Stuff They Don’t Tell You About Weight Loss 

Something they don’t tell you when you’re losing weight is how much things change for the better and how some things don’t change at all.

After losing 130 pounds, I’m now the type of person to volunteer to give a speech at the event I organized, host a podcast, and willingly pose for photos.

Even more so, I don’t die inside when I see those photos posted online. 

I feel I deserve the good things that happen to me. I’m not afraid to be heard and to advocate for my needs.

I know I’m worth that “excuse me” from the person who bumped into me and the “you got it” without a judgmental glance from the waiter when I order a side of fries instead of a salad.

But that budding confidence hasn’t replaced the old narratives, loops of shame and embarrassment, feelings of otherness and exclusion—instead, they coexist, bleeding together, taking turns overpowering the other.

It’s confusing.

The world changes when you aren’t fat anymore.

People treat you differently when they don’t see you as “fat” anymore.

Strangers smile at you, say thank you when you hold the door, don’t cringe when you walk onto the plane.

Someone might strike up a conversation as you’re waiting in line at the supermarket. 

All of that seems like it would be nice, but honestly, it’s a little frustrating.

In the back of my mind, I wonder if these people would have been this nice if I were still heavier.

Sometimes, I’m resentful that the world is suddenly kinder to me. 

I’m still battling my “fat head.”

I still believe things about myself that aren't true—beliefs based on what society, media, and culture told me about people, like me, who carry a lot of weight on their bodies.

I can hear what others are thinking and echo their thoughts, lazy with no self-control, fat. ‍

Just like them, I don’t consider the fact that there are different body types and genetics or that food does more than just satiate hunger.

I look at my body and I call myself a failure.

I feel the weight of every shameful bite that turned into pounds, a physical reminder of every moment I tried to forget. 

Not enough, too much, unworthy embedded themselves in my brain and became a part of who I am. It’s difficult to flip that switch completely. 

Even after years of keeping off the weight and in the midst of my skin removal journey, there's this part of me that has those lingering thoughts about myself.

I call it my “fat head.”

As a person who carried a tremendous amount of weight for a long time and then lost that weight, my brain is taking longer to catch up with the changes.

I needed, and still do need, time to adjust. 

I know I’m not big or heavier anymore. I’m in a much smaller size of clothing. The number on the scale is lower.

I know these things rationally in my brain, but there's this part of me that still doesn't really believe it.  

Yes, losing physical weight, and having skin removal surgeries have been huge for me. It's been an improvement.

I mean a huge change, but the mental and emotional work of changing the way I see and talk to myself is ongoing, probably forever.

And though it is work, it kind of excites me.

Gaining, Losing, and Maintaining Weight Over the Years

I started gaining weight when I was about nineteen years old after I married my first husband.

Truth is I was too young to get married, but you couldn't tell me that then. 

In the decade we were married I gained 120 pounds and at my heaviest weighed around 280 pounds.

Thinking back, a lot of that was just putting myself last and emotional eating. Stuff like that just builds up over time.

In 2003, I had bariatric surgery and lost 110 pounds in ten months.

‍After losing weight, I realized that the relationship wasn't for me anymore and the marriage ended. 

Divorced, Re-Married, Became a Mom

Shortly after my divorce, I met my current husband, Dan. We got married and I got pregnant with our son pretty quickly. 

As one does when growing a human, I gained weight during my pregnancy.

After my son was born I lost nearly all the baby weight and was feeling proud and ready for this next chapter. 

Bariatric surgery isn’t cheating—it’s a tool.

Ten years into my son’s life, I found myself 80 pounds heavier.

I’ve heard more times than I can count, as I’m sure all bariatric patients have, “You cheated and took the easy way out.”

That's just not true. It's a tool that you choose to utilize or not. During that time after my son was born, I wasn’t using the tool.

I got cocky and I started finding foods I could eat a lot of (because you know, quantity was kind of my thing)—the foods that just kind of move on through your body and don’t make you feel full as a bariatric patient.

I found a loophole and settled into old habits.

I found a loophole and settled into old habits.

I fell off, but I got back up.

In 2022, I realized I didn’t want to age like that. I wanted to be mobile and participate in my life and my family’s lives.

I didn’t want to observe from the sidelines anymore. 

I decided right then and there that I would lose the weight for the last time and once I did, I would finally get all the loose skin removed. 

I started to work with a trainer, hired an online health coach, and started a GLP 1.

Six months later, I had a balanced lifestyle with a solid exercise routine and was in a place mentally and physically that I could maintain. 

Finally, it was time to do something about the excess skin. 

My Skin Removal and Plastic Surgery Journey

The first time Dan and I talked about skin removal surgery after weight loss, I surprised both of us. 

Dan had always known me with loose skin. And though he was never bothered by the excess skin, he understood and supported the surgery.

Intertwined with his support were well-meaning comments like, “You know you don’t need to do this” or “You don’t need to do this for me.” 

To which I replied confidently, without hesitation, shame, or guilt,  “I’m not. I’m doing it for me. All of this has been for me.”  ‍

I’m doing it for me. All of this has been for me.

In that moment, I knew just how much my confidence, self-respect, and the feeling I deserve good things had grown.

I’ve never been one to do something for me.

I’ve always put others before myself, to my own detriment, and in that moment, I can honestly say I was proud of myself for doing something solely for me.

I know the old me would think that sounds so selfish, but now I know it’s not because I know the transformative power that it’s had in my life.

Finding a Skin Removal Plastic Surgeon Near Me

When it came time to find a plastic surgeon for skin removal surgery, I got lucky.

Dr. Fredman came highly recommended by my sister who was no rookie in the world of plastic surgery.

The moment I went to the website I knew I was in the right place.

As of today, I've had three procedures done in two phases, and am about to have my final one (maybe final…never say never!) at the end of August of this year.

Skin Removal Surgery Phase 1: Fleur de Lis Abdominoplasty and Mastopexy

My first phase was in December 2022, I had a fleur de lis tummy tuck, muscle repair to correct diastasis recti (abdominal muscle separation), ten pounds of skin removed, waistline liposuction, and a breast lift with bra line lipo.

I remember when I took the garment off for the first time to take a shower two days post-op and I just started to ball. My husband panicked thinking I was in pain. 

But really, I was so very happy. I couldn’t believe this was my body.

The shock and excitement of it all just flooded over me—I finally had a flat stomach (even with all of the expected swelling). 

Skin Removal Surgery Phase 2: Lower Body Lift

In December 2023, I had my second phase— a posterior body lift, also known as a lower body lift.

A lower body lift removes excess skin and fat from the lower back to lift the thighs and bum—almost like a backward tummy tuck.

Dr. Fredman recommended doing the tummy tuck and lower body lift separately for the best results and better recovery. 

The lower body lift recovery was a lot like the tummy tuck in terms of restrictions and downtime. I took about a week off completely.

By the second week, I was slowly getting back to navigating daily life independently and by week three I was starting my normal routine with some light exercise.

I had six weeks of lifting restrictions (nothing heavier than a gallon of milk) and couldn’t submerge in water to avoid infection. 

The Mental Side of Recovery

Taking time to heal was challenging. It was physically painful and with all the downtime, my “fat head” didn’t hesitate to take the stage.

I questioned if I did the right thing.

If I was selfish for taking time off away from my son and family. If I was crazy for spending this much money and time on my physical appearance. 

But the thing is, it wasn’t just appearance. It was about comfort. I was, for the first time, comfortable in my clothes. 

I wasn’t pulling or tugging or hiding or covering. I was just being. I started to hear my own voice in my head, a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time, maybe ever.

I was getting to know myself again.

When Your Physical Body Matches How You Feel on The Inside

For most of my life, my body defined me. People decided, just by looking at me, that I was unmotivated with no self-control, lazy, and unlike them.

My back hurt all the time. My knees hurt all the time. My breasts hung heavy on my shoulders, neck, and back.

The physical pain shaped how I moved through the world and began to define what I believed I was capable of, both physically and in my life.

Entering into my final phase of plastic surgery and skin removal, I can finally feel my outward appearance begin to match the inside and it’s opened my heart and mind to pursue and connect in ways I never thought I would.

Skin Removal Surgery Phase 3: Brachioplasty and Thighplasty

My third and final phase will be in August with a brachioplasty (arm lift) to remove excess skin from the back of the arms and a thigh lift to remove loose skin from my inner thighs. 

I couldn’t be more excited. I’m not even anxious about the surgery or the recovery.

In fact, I’m kind of sad this is my last surgery—it means I won’t get to see Dr. Fredman and his amazing team any more. 

Going into this third and final phase, I feel prepared. I know the recovery will be painful.

But I also know on the other side of those seven to ten, long days are arms and thighs I don’t have to hide. 

Final Results Timeline for Skin Removal Surgery

The final results for my skin removal surgeries (and most skin removal surgeries) are about twelve months post-op.

That’s time for your scars to finish healing and for the residual swelling to go down. 

But the really great thing about these types of surgeries is that even though the true final results take a while, I noticed a difference right away after my tummy tuck, breast lift, and lower body lift.

The surge of confidence was almost immediate, even as I healed, wore my compression garment, and waited for the results.

The Ripple Effect After Weight Loss

After my first cosmetic surgery, it took Dan some time to adjust, which was something I hadn’t anticipated. 

Dan is happy for me and supportive in every way—but your partner changing so drastically and so suddenly takes some time to adjust to.

All of a sudden I went from being an insecure person who would wear the biggest clothes I could find to cover every lump and bump to a person who confidently, unapologetically moved through the world.

Different isn’t always bad, but adjusting to any kind of change requires effort, patience, and time.

The woman, wife, and mother they’ve known for decades is changing, growing, and speaking up.

I understand (though sometimes it hurts to think about) that their support and love are also sometimes complicated by all of the changes. 

I’d imagine this is what it feels like to get to know your adult children again. Someone so close to you suddenly feels like a stranger. It takes patience, love, and empathy on both sides.

It takes patience, love, and empathy on both sides.

We’re holding space for each other, continuing to love each other as we get to know these new versions of ourselves. 

Getting to Know Myself Again

At fifty years old, I’ve had to reintroduce myself to myself and get used to hearing my own thoughts about who I am and what I want to do.

I’ve changed how I allow people to speak and interact with me. I’ve stopped over-apologizing for just being there. 

I am so stoked to be in this new body. I can finally wear a bra without underwire and I’m not in the big, granny panties anymore.

I have the confidence to be assertive.

It feels like a lid got lifted and finally, all of this stuff that I've always had and always been capable of was able to come out.

I’m happier. I’m unlearning. I’m introducing the person I’ve always been and wanted to be to the people closest to me. 

As positive as all of this is, what I’ve learned is this process doesn’t just affect me.

My highs and lows, learning and unlearning, new confidence battling old insecurities impact me just as much as they do those around me. 

All of this change, growth, and journey has a ripple effect on my husband, my child, my family, and friends. 

Even with the challenges and changes, I feel hope. I feel so much hope. And excitement. And gratitude. I'm still me. I’m still going to be me even as I keep evolving.

My journey just keeps going and that excites me.  

I wore a bikini for the first time in 45 years this summer. In fact, I have a photo of the last time I wore a bikini.

I'm five years old, standing around my little kiddie pool. I never wore one again after that…until now. 

For the first time in my life, I'm proudly proud of my body even with my fleur de lis tummy tuck scar—I love that scar because it represents the work and reward of where I am today. 

I’m not ashamed or embarrassed of being proud. I worked so hard to get here and I deserve, even in middle age, to be happy.

We had the opportunity to hang with Nicole again just before her third phase of plastic surgery.

In late August, Nicole had her final phase of skin removal surgeries, a brachioplasty and thigh lift. 

Here’s what she had to say on her surgery day.

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